Do you also fixate on Valentine’s Day as a day set apart for grand romantic gestures and supernormal levels of affection? But why should such attention to your significant other be expressed only with syrupy balderdash? Love is one of the paramount elements of human experience. Along with fear. Let’s combine tenderness with horror. Let’s turn roses into flowers of evil and teddy bears into zombies. Marry February the 14th with Friday the 13th! Let Freddy Krueger be your Valentine consultant!
Stop looking for another gooey way to say those three little words. Say no to sentimental bla-bla-bla like “To the world you’re just one person, but to me you mean the world.” Get the message across in the most blood-curdling manner possible! It’s also a one-of-a-kind way to put your darling’s sense of humor to the test.
Prove your love is real by adding a little bit of natural flair to “I love you” with a knife, a heart, and a bloody horseshoe.
What else to add? This is hell of a compliment!
If she didn’t throw you on the bed, rip you clothes off and destroy you in the most hardcore way after you show her this Teddy Bear, he would burst into tears.
Even kitties have a dark, wild side. It’s high time to unleash it on Valentine’s Day.
It’s great to be zombie, because you are drop-dead gorgeous! Still, I love you for your braaaaaaaaains!
Make her call you ‘My Predator’!
When love is eternal, it turns everyone into an undead.
‘Cause your feelings are so otherworldly, they are extraterrestrial!
Our love will outlast the stars. Our love will outlive the gods. Even the god of love. Poor Cupid.
I’ve got the guts to love you, Dear Valentine!