Hey kids, it’s time for science! Not the Breaking Bad kind of science, but lawful science. The kind of science people win Nobel prizes for. Not the high school, “oh God when am I ever going to use this?” kind of science. I mean, the results are probably more exciting than the research. But let’s assume that nothing beats spending fifteen years of your life doing research in your field of expertise to end up as 1/15th of this article. That’s a life goal if I’ve ever heard of one.
Anyway, let’s take a look how this generation’s boys and girls have forever changed the face of science without doing things like inventing penicillin or discovering radiation. And if these don’t impress you, you probably shouldn’t get a career in science. At all. Seriously, it’s literally in last position on the list of things you should do for a living.
14. Being In Love Has The Same Effect As Cocaine
But cocaine will never leave you heartbroken after cheating on you with your best friend. Think
13. The DNA In Our Body Can Stretch From The Sun to Pluto And Back – 17 times
And after that 17th time, Pluto still won’t be an actual planet.
12. Eating A Polar Bear Liver Will Kill You
You’d overdose from too much vitamin A and from being an asshole that eats polar bears.
11. You Can Have 3 Genetic Parents
Some doctor experimented with combining a nucleus from an egg with another egg and then fertilized it using a guy’s swimmers. I haven’t seen this level of genetic mixing since the Buu Saga in Dragon Ball Z.
10. Humans Walk Around The Earth Five Times During Their Lifetime
I mean, on average. I’ll be glad if I manage walking from home to the liquor store once a week. Aim low, shoot high.
9. All The LEGO Bricks Ever Made Stacked On Top Of Each Other Could Reach The Moon Ten Times
Imagine stepping on that tower of pain, right?
8. Snow Is Actually Translucent
So that snowman you’ve spent all afternoon making technically isn’t even visible. You’re just watching the light reflect off his translucent skin.
7. Love Makes Your Pupils Dilate
As does cocaine. So next time you’re trying to convince someone that you love them but you don’t really, a quick line will sort you out!
6. Humans Have Spent More Time Playing World of Warcraft Than We Have Existed
We’ve been playing WoW for over six million years. And we still haven’t driven back the Burning Legion. SIX MILLION YEARS, PEOPLE!
5. Without The Empty Space Between Atoms, The Human Race Could Fit Into A Sugar Cube
Aren’t we a bunch of airheads?
4. The Solar System Smells Of Steak And The Milky Way Smells Of Raspberries And Rum
That’s what astronauts claim. Who are we to argue with them? Have you been to space? I haven’t. But those astronauts sound like a bunch of potheads.
3. Stomach Cells Regenerate Faster Than Stomach Acid Destroys Them
Suck on that, Wolverine! Apparently we can all regenerate fast!
2. A Teaspoon Of A Neutron Star Weighs 6 Billion Tons
“Yo momma’s so fat, she’s like a spoonful of neutron star!”
1. The Eiffel Tower Is 15 cm Taller In The Summer