It’s hard to ignore the hype surrounding Fidget Spinners. I mean, I hate them. I’m pretty sure most sane people do. Yet somehow I see them being sold everywhere and I see kids running around with glazed-over eyes as if hypnotized by these devil spinners. I don’t see the fun you’d get out of flipping something on your finger other than a basketball, but I guess the times really are a-changin’.
While there’s a lot of things you’ve already heard or seen about the Fidget Spinners, there’s also a bunch of stuff that you probably don’t know. We’ll assume it has nothing to do with the fact that you honestly couldn’t give less of a hoot about the Fidget Spinners, and pretend you’re reading this for any other reason than to vent your hatred in the comments. Just remember: I’m pretty sure I hate them just as much as you do.
Anyway, I’ve wasted enough of your time without giving you some sweet facts about Fidget Spinners that’ll impress all the prepubescent kids in town.
Why And How Long Do The Spinners Rotate?
The key behind the physics to these instruments of Hell are the ball bearings, which allow them to rotate for a long time due to the reduction of friction. On average, a Fidget Spinner can last for 104 seconds. That’s more than the average guy that uses a Fidget Spinner.
Who Made Them?
Catherine Hettinger, a chemical engineer, came up with the design for Fidget Spinners for two reasons: she had a daughter with a disease that caused weakened muscles and she saw young children in Israel throwing rocks at people passing by to kill the time. To give all these kids something to do, she came up with the first Fidget Spinner
In 2005, Catherine couldn’t afford the $400 to renew the patent on her invention. Subsequently, she lost the rights to the toy and it can now be freely produced by pretty much any company on the planet.
How Expensive Are They?
Depending on how advanced you want your Fidget Spinner to be, you can get one for $2 all the way up to over $460. If you spend $460 on a Fidget Spinner, you may have bigger problems than the money – perhaps to divert some of that loot for a psychiatrist and a long sanitarium visit?
How Did Celebrities Get Involved?
It all started with whatever B-list celebrity you’ve probably suspected by now: first Gwyneth Paltrow gave her 11-year-old son a set of Fidget Spinners. Obviously fuming with anger because she wasn’t the first to think of this, Kim Kardashian then went and added Fidget Spinners to her personal line of merchandise. Because who doesn’t want a fidget spinner with KK’s head on it?
Are There Any Variations?
While each Fidget Spinner has a unique set of traits (color, size, features), designs can vary greatly and go well beyond the well-known three-legged device. High end spinners also have Bluetooth connectivity, LED lighting and integrated speakers. It’s basically an iPod that annoys people.
Is There Any Danger?
As technology gets more and more involved into the design of these spinners, so do the technological errors one would expect: fire and explosions. Also, using a Fidget Spinner in public might ruin your social life because people will think you’re a twat. Using Fidget Spinners is like young skateboarders from the last generation looking dorky trying to “walk their board up a flight of stairs, the new generation has Fidget Spinners to highlight their nouveau dorkiness. Dangers? None really. Just looking stupid walking around spinning the thing and thus being prone to criticism and browbeating from those noble souls who have already grown out of Spinning. Good news? They WILL grow out of it and move on to more adult pursuits like walking across a busy intersection while playing a video game on their iPhone.