Let’s be honest: we don’t watch cooking programs for the food anymore. There’s just so many of these “reality” shows being shoved down our throats, we couldn’t give less of a damn about this random dude’s beef casserole.
No, the true reason why we all watch reality shows, is the drama factor. We want to see people cry, we want people to get yelled at, we want people to be insulted on television. It makes us feel better about our lives. No matter how bad your days gets, it’s never “yelled at on national TV”-bad. And now with YouTube and all that modern magic the kids keep talking about, there’s no such thing as national TV anymore. Once it’s out there, it’s staying out there.
Now when I say “cooking show” and “insults”, what do you think? Exactly, Gordon Ramsay. He’s a good cook and he’ll manage to properly get the message across if you’ve done something wrong. Pretty much every show with this guy is about him insulting people, so let’s take a look at some of his greatest hits.
Today’s lunch menu: disappointment with a side of failure.
To be fair, not all baths have simple temperature regulation mechanisms. Mine goes from Mordor to Siberia faster than a Ferrari.
Well, that could serve as a good motivation after the ten minutes of excruciating agony.
It was pretty weird when already-deceased Mrs. Ramsey made Thanksgiving dinner, but that turkey was on point.
Gordon got zero chill.
“It’s my show, can’t I kick both these idiots out?”
Okay, so, let me get this straight. You’re on television, and you did something wrong. Someone calls you an idiot, puts two slices of bread next to your head, and this happens. Am I missing anything? Because this is pure genius.
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After the idiot sandwich, the panini head!
Diced, please. And maybe just in a bowl or something. Or on a plate. Anything, really.
The power of Christ compels you! Leave this vessel! Begone from my salad!
Ouch. Lifting them up, just to beat them down. That’s what Quan Chi does in Mortal Kombat. And Quan Chi ain’t a nice fellow.