Most movies have this thing where they jam in a random sex scene for no real reason. While most of them are done pretty tastefully and some even have a place in the plot (I know, right?), there are sex scenes in movies that are just downright unrealistic and horrible.
9. Pretty Woman – Piano Scene
You can have sex on a lot of things, but anything that plays out of tune music whenever you sit on it, is probably not your best choice. Nothing kills the mood like a note that doesn’t fit the key.
8. Skyfall – Shower Scene
Professionally trained spy or not, showers get slippery. Don’t expect to rock her world without breaking a few bones.
7. Showgirls – Pool Scene
Well, thanks to the wonderful acting in this scene, it looks more like two people trying to call for help because they’re drowning.
6. 40 Days and 40 Nights – Flower Scene
It’s not actually having sex, more like rubbing each other with a flower. Sounds hot, doesn’t it? Yeah, about as hot as the arctic.
5. The Chase – Car Sex Scene
Well, while car sex in itself is no problem, the fact that the car in this scene is actually driving down a street is. That’s not sexy, that’s irresponsible.
4. Mr. And Mrs. Smith – That HOT Scene
That’s just never going to end well for anyone. How do you even get turned on when someone is shooting at you? What is wrong with these people?
3. Shoot ‘Em Up – Sex While Shooting Other People
I mean, it’s pretty much the same as above. People are still shooting at you. Still not the best of times to get it on. It’s standard procedure: kill everyone first, have sex after.
2. Crank – Chinatown Scene
Usually when people say “in public”, they mean “somewhere where other people are, but still pretty much out of sight.” In Crank, however, Jason Statham is about to die because his adrenalin is running out, so his girlfriend decides to help him do something about that right in the middle of Chinatown. And somehow, the people love it.
1. Dirty Dancing – Actual Dirty Dancing
I can’t imagine being so passionate about dancing that when you’re undressing your partner, you just burst into a goddamn slow rumba. It’s weird.